Fly into San Antonio or Corpus Christi and drive south.
Plan on sweating a lot.
Park your car on the beach and don't move it for a week solid.
Parasail high above the Gulf of Mexico and wave to your friends on the beach with their farmer tans.
Bodysurf the sloppy wind waves as they crash on the shoreline.
Rent a boat, stock up a cooler and go fishing for your dinner. Return as the triumphant provider of your friends' meal.
Baste yourself in Crisco and dance on top of tables in crowded bars.
Play beach volleyball wearing neon and an upside-down visor.
Challenge the lifeguards to a game of beach flags and throw lots of elbows.
Compete in every foolish beach contest that promises humiliation.
